We all know what a razor is. With a lifetime of beards, mustaches and other facial silliness, I know as well as anyone. 

But there is an intellectual razor as well: a snippet that provides a general rule for common things. The best known is Occam’s razor, misspelled for William of Ockham, who lived from about 1287 to about 1347. He stated that, when faced with compelling explanations for a problem, the simplest one is usually the best. If your boat keys are missing, Occam says the most likely cause is not robbery but having misplaced them. 

With that, I would like to introduce you to Caswell’s Razors, my lifetime harvest of boating wisdom that you can use to guide your life on the water.

One of the shortest, and one that applies ashore as well as afloat, is: “Stainless steel isn’t.” Before you’ve even thrown away the box that proclaimed “100% rust-free stainless,” you’ll see little reddish traces appear on the screw or bolt or cleat that you just installed.

Another Caswellian Razor that is well-proven is: “Don’t go where birds are standing.” It is said that there are two kinds of skippers: those who admit they have run aground, and liars. And, yes, the birds really are laughing.

Just about everything that happens once you step from the dock onto your boat is covered by: “Expect the unexpected.” It is here that Caswell’s Razors and Murphy’s Law intersect, with: “Whatever can happen, will.” 

One of my wife’s oft-used razors, both in our house and on our boat, is: “This will just take a second.” For a better estimate of your time investment, multiply the time expected by three and then add one hour. That total, of course, includes multiple trips to the hardware store.

I’ve learned the next Caswellian Razor the hard way, time and time again: “During a repair, the first thing to break will be the most expensive.” There is a corollary to this, also sadly well-proven: “The second thing to break will not have replacement parts available.” This principle and its offshoot are why the staff at the local West Marine greet me by my first name when I enter.

When it comes to the rules of the road, there is one razor that governs them all: “Assume that every other boater does not know who has the right-of-way.” Heed this principle, or you will encounter another razor: “You can be dead right as well as dead wrong.” 

I’ve developed the following Caswell’s Razor from decades of bareboating all over the world: “If there is an empty spot in an anchorage, it has no holding.” Trust me on this, it’s been well-tested.

To prove the next razor, spend just one afternoon sitting at a marina: “Never approach another vessel or dock faster than you’re willing to hit it.”

Caswell’s Razors also cross paths with Hanlon’s Razor, which states: “Never attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity or laziness.” This especially applies to boaters who jam ahead of you as you approach a fuel dock or the last dockage at a waterfront restaurant.

Speaking of the fuel dock, this Caswell’s Razor was admittedly learned as a pilot, but it applies equally well to boating: “The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.” 

Another theft from my flying hours should also govern a skipper’s actions while underway at the wheel: “Get your head out of the cockpit.” Too many aviation accidents occur because the pilot was fooling with dials or gauges or switches. While you’re on the water, think of yourself as a bobblehead doll, always turning and watching everything. 

When it comes to dealing with your crew, a Caswellian Razor to remember is: “Express every action as though to a child.” If you can make a child understand where to place a fender, then you can probably get through to your dense crew.

I will leave you with arguably the most important of all Caswell’s Razors, and one you should use to govern every action aboard your boat: “Remember to laugh.”

This article originally appeared in the March 2026 issue of Passagemaker magazine.