As you read this, we’re coming off a holiday season defined by gifts, overeating and toasts. There is almost never a gathering of two or more people where a toast is not shared. It might be as mundane as “cheers,” or, for the more worldly, “sláinte” (health in Gaelic). Aboard a boat, toasting is always in season.
While toasts officially date back to ancient Grecian banquets, I suspect that the first caveman probably grunted something to his cave friends over a mastodon cutlet, like “enjoy.” Historically, toasting is said to have begun as an homage to the gods. The host would pour a portion of the drink into a goblet, lift it with both hands in prayer, and then drink as a toast to Hermes and Zeus. This tradition morphed into toasting those at the table.
Toasts are an honored skill, and woe betide anyone who stumbles through with something as banal as “to health” for friends or “to success” at a business meeting. Yawn. You can always fall back on Humphrey Bogart’s famous toast from Casablanca: “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” There is also an appropriate quote about toasts to keep in mind: “Flubbing a toast is like serving stale champagne. It flattens the mood.”
Toasts are also a seafaring tradition, and anyone reading these words should tuck away a few classic nautical toasts for future use, being careful to fit the toast to the appropriate audience. For example, not for use at family gatherings would be a toast by Lord Nelson (he of Trafalgar fame), who said, “To our wives and sweethearts, may they never meet.”
When enveloped by friends (not necessarily relatives), you can distinguish yourself with this updated gem: “Here’s to wooden ships and fiberglass ships, and all the ships at sea. But the best ships are friendships, here’s to you and me.”
If someone is setting out on a voyage, you can always rely on: “Fair winds and a following sea.” Double yawn. Far more memorable would be, “May your departures equal your landfalls,” which is not only a great toast but also excellent advice. If you’re not too sure about a fellow skipper’s abilities, you might use, “May all your landfalls be expected.”
If you’re entertaining at dockside, you might amuse your audience with: “Here’s to being in a boat with a drink on the rocks, rather than being in the drink with a boat on the rocks.” And, an always-useful toast for happy hour in the cockpit at anchor is: “Rum on the rocks and a toast to the setting sun. May they both go down smoothly.”
For some reason, the Irish have a variety of good toasts, such as: “May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light, may good winds pursue you each morning and night.” Or, “To Fiddler’s Green, where there is many a lass and many a glass, and never a sea story.”
But leave it to the U.K.’s Royal Navy to turn toasting into an organized ritual, always starting with the loyal toast (“God bless the King”). This is followed by several toasts, with one for each day. Sunday is “To absent friends”; Monday is “To our ships at sea”; Tuesday is “To our men”; Wednesday is “To ourselves”; Thursday is “To a bloody war”; Friday is “To a willing foe and sea room”; and, on Saturday, it’s the previously mentioned “To sweethearts and wives,” to which all present must shout “may they never meet.”
I’m partial, particularly after a strenuous cruise, to toasting my shipmates with, “We’ve cheated death on the high seas again.” The naval version is: “Once again, we have failed to die.”
For a more ethereal toast, how about: “Here’s to eternity. May we spend it in as good company as this night finds us.” Always a room-pleaser. And for those with a bent for passagemaking, don’t miss: “The meek shall inherit the earth, the brave will get the oceans.”
To celebrate someone in particular, a seafaring toast might be, “May your joys be as deep as the ocean, your troubles light as its foam, and may you find peace of mind, wherever you may roam.”
And, if you’re just about to depart, you might want to toast your crew with: “May Neptune smile upon us.”
I’ll end this with one that’s good for all groups. If you don’t have a good memory, write it on your palm: “Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting and drinking; If you’re going to cheat, may you cheat death; If you’re going to steal, steal the heart of the one you love; If you fight, may you fight for a brother; And if you’re going to drink, drink with friends both old and new.”
This article was originally published in the January/February 2024 issue.
